Finding My Style After Committing to Modesty
Sarah
I remember standing in my closet six months ago, staring at clothes that suddenly didn't work anymore. Tank tops I'd worn for years. My favorite summer dresses. Jeans that fit great but felt... too much now.
After years of wrestling with conviction about modesty, I'd finally decided to commit. To actually dress differently. And honestly? The first few months were hard.
The Awkward Beginning
I felt frumpy. There's no other word for it. I'd go to Target wearing a long skirt and oversized cardigan and feel like someone's grandmother. Everyone else was in athleisure or trendy outfits, and there I was looking like I'd time-traveled from the 1950s.
My friends noticed. "You look different," they'd say carefully. Some asked if I'd joined a cult. One friend genuinely asked if I was okay, like modest dress was a cry for help.
I started to wonder if I'd made a mistake. Maybe modesty and style really were incompatible. Maybe I'd have to choose between honoring God and feeling like myself.
The Turning Point
Then I found a modest fashion account on Instagram run by a woman about my age. She was dressed modestly - covered shoulders, longer hemlines, nothing revealing - but she looked amazing. Confident. Stylish. Herself.
It clicked: I wasn't failing at modest fashion. I was just wearing the wrong clothes.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
— Psalm 139:14
I started researching. Turns out there's a whole world of modest fashion I'd never noticed before. Beautiful midi dresses. Flowy wide-leg pants. Layering pieces that actually looked intentional, not like I was hiding.
What I Learned
Modesty Doesn't Mean Shapeless
My first mistake was buying everything two sizes too big. I thought modesty meant hiding my body entirely. But there's a difference between modest and frumpy. Well-fitted clothes that don't cling or reveal can be incredibly flattering.
Quality Over Quantity
I used to buy cheap clothes constantly. Fast fashion meant I could refresh my wardrobe every season. But when I committed to modesty, I started investing in fewer, better pieces. A well-made linen dress that lasts years beats ten cheap sundresses that fall apart.
Color and Pattern Still Matter
Just because I was covering more didn't mean I had to wear beige. I started embracing bold colors and fun patterns. A modest dress in deep emerald or rust orange? So much more "me" than another black maxi.
Accessories Are Everything
When your clothes are simpler and more covered, accessories become your playground. Statement earrings. Layered necklaces. A great belt. Scarves. These details express personality without compromising modesty.
The Unexpected Freedom
Here's what nobody told me about modest fashion: it's actually freeing.
I don't worry about bending over or sitting down anymore. I don't second-guess whether my outfit is "too much" for church or "too conservative" for brunch with friends. I don't feel eyes on me in the wrong way.
And weirdly, I feel more beautiful now than when I wore revealing clothes. Not because modest clothes are inherently prettier, but because I'm not dressing for attention anymore. I'm dressing for me - and for God.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
— Proverbs 31:30
My Current Favorites
My wardrobe now centers on:
- Three quality midi dresses in jewel tones
- Wide-leg linen pants (game-changer for summer)
- Oversized button-downs for layering
- One really good denim jacket
- Comfortable, modest shoes I can actually walk in
I also started wearing scripture tees - shirts with Bible verses or Christian messages. They're conversation starters, and they remind me throughout the day why I dress this way in the first place.
What I'd Tell My Six-Months-Ago Self
Give it time. The awkward phase doesn't last forever. You're not losing yourself - you're discovering who you are when you're not performing for the male gaze or chasing trends.
Modest fashion isn't about rules. It's about freedom. Freedom from comparison, from objectification, from the exhausting pressure to reveal. You're going to find your style again. And it's going to be even better than before.
If you're in the awkward beginning phase right now, hang in there. Find modest fashion inspiration. Invest in a few quality pieces. And give yourself grace. You're honoring God with a decision that isn't easy - but it's worth it.
Looking for modest pieces that actually feel like you? We're here to help you find your style within your convictions.